UPBRINGING OF KIDS MINUS TWO: A SUCCESS STORY

The amazing story of raising kids by handicapped Abu Aman Bachik. Photograped by A.F.Yassin at Azmi Khmis home in Taman Universiti, Bangi, 6 October 2012.

After sharing my doldrums, tribulations and mishaps, I am yet to share with you another of my invaluable experiences of raising and educating formally my five kids minus two.

It’s minus two because my second child Aida Nazarah is diagnosed as an autistic child. She is a special child. She was suffering from fits as an after math of a bout of high fever which caused a damage to her brain. This girl needs special upbringing, quite different from the others. She cannot communicte verbally.

My third child Anis Ciik Syuhada was adopted by my sister in law since birth. So as to release us the burden of raising Aida. So we raised only three of them in the true sense of the word, and provided them with formal education as all children should be. As such we rasied only three of them in the normal practice as every parents should do.

Hollywood's Universal Studio, Here I come! Guess am I the eldest among AAB's kids?

They are my eldest Abu Shahlizan, my fourth Affizah nad my youngest child, Azlin Suzana. Thank God, raising the three of them was a real pleasure and with God Almighty's blessings it was not much of a problem. Along was a pleasure to raise. Right from primary school he was a very intelligent boy; topping his class in every standard of his primary school. So much so one of his cousins commented, "Kau ni tak tau no. lain ke Zan selain dari nombor satu?" when he asked one day after seeing his report card.

Abu Shahlizan needed not much persuasion in his studies. Nevertheless, I did stress on his finishing his home work if he had an assignment to do, right from Standard One. Once he almost broke down because I did not allow him to follow his uncle for a weekend in Kuantan if he did not finish his home work first. With much fuss, he did finish his homework to my satisfaction, and to Kuantan he went after that. That's the sort of training he had since he was very tender.

Another thing was I was very strict with him when came to reading The Al Quran. When I reminiscenceded, I felt sorry for what I had done. How could you punish your child by shouting at him, especially when you were teaching him to recite the Words of Allah. When he was at the University of Wisconsin, in Madison, my wife endlessly reminded him to perform the solat. This endless reminder reaps its fruit now. He never failed to do the solat as every Muslim should do.

Along went to a fully residential school in Seremban after Standard Six in TBS primary. He was schooled at Sekolah Datuk Abdul Razak, at Sikamat until he finished form five. When he was in Form Three, my wife and I were summoned by his discipline teacher, for reason none other than smoking activities. He was the messenger who went to get the supply of cigarettes for his seniors, of course. I suspected he too was involved in smoking.

I somehow did not believe in sending him for tuition in his studies. I stressed that he studied on his own during his primary school. In a way, I think that it's not too much for me to say that Abu Shahlizan is a self-made man today. He is now an SVP, with RHB Islamic Bank, in KL.

When he was studying at KPP in Section 17, Shah Alam, in preparation for his studies at Madison, he loved to buy rejected clothes from the reject shop. Both at KPP and at Madison, I did not have to spend a single cent on him. He made do with JPA's funds at KPP. At Madison he worked as a rubbish collector at the University of Wisconsin. He salvaged every penny he received from his rubbish collecting. So much so, when he came back home after two years in Madison he brought home a pick-up load of compact discs,of various rock music, together with a complete set of home theatre music and disc player. Such was his love for rock music. At SDAR, he got the nickname labu rock.

When he was at KPP too, unlike other friends of his who demanded their parents to buy them expensive transport mode like motor bikes, my son commute to and from KL using the public transport. His friends who had own transport for communicating, ended up as first year graduates, Syukur alhamdulillah, my son made it to America and back with a success.

Tuan Haji Hisham Abdullah, the then Negeri Sembilan Education Director presenting Achievement Award to Day School Best Student 1993 to Affizah Abu Aman (inset). And a trip to Australia.

Bringing up Affizah, was very much simpler and much more enjoyable. She was a girl full of discipline and determination. She is very focussed in every thing that she does. She is a very strong lady in character and in personality until today. This is proven by her sharing her kidney with her son who was born to her with a kidney failure. So she is a lady of one kidney. For that matter a number of my family members is having one organ. I am an amputee with one leg as well as one eye. My wife is also surviving on one kidney as the other kidney was removed, due to cancer. The special one is having one eye. Her left eye is blind because she struck it and damaged it. Anis is having one ovary as the other had to be removed due a cyst growth.

When she was in the primary school, she needed not much push to study. Study on her own she did. Nevertheless, unlike his brother I did send her for tuition. When she was in Form One, I told her to study hard only once. One day I called her and said, “ Kak Lang, ( we call her kak lang) now that you are in Form One, you must study hard. Form one is not like Primary Six. In form one pupils from the Remove Class will be put together. Pupils from the Remove Class is made up of Chinese pupils and they are very hard working. You have to compete with them."

Since that day I never had to tell her to study hard again. Her routine after school every day was: Ss soon as she came back from school, she would have her lunch. After which she would perform the Zohor prayer. Then she had her short nap. When she woke up she would do her school work. This she would do every day. At night she would go on studying or do her school assignment until about 11.00 , before going to sleep.

She became TBS's best student in 1993. She was a Petronas's Scholar and she was sent for her Chemical Engineering Degree at the University of New South Wales, in Sydney. She was the only Day School candidate that was chosen by Petronas. All her other friends who were sent to Australia, were students of fully Residential School, during her time.

Another thing about Affizah, worthy of mentioning was how, while in primary School, she finished reading a stack of a dozen books in just one day - books I believe would take other children about a week or two to finish reading. She really shocked me, so much so that I had to take her to the local library to get her supply of books..

She is an ardent reader until today. She is now one of Petronas's series of companies' Managers, stationed at the Twin Towers, in the heart of KL.

Azlin (2nd from left) is now lecturing at the One Academy in Sunway City, PJ.

Now comes the turn of my last darling, Azlin Suzana. Despite being a girl Azlin is a replica of me both in health as well as in studies. In health she is as asthmatic as I am. In studies she was as lazy as I was to read my books. Imagine, when she was in Form One, she asked her mother to read for her a comprehension piece she had to do. Can you believed it!!

Once she had a bout attack of asthma. I had to carry her to the Tampin out- patient clinic for her nebuliser treatment. She was then already a big girl, and the clinic then was at the top of quite a steep slope. Luckily, upon reaching the clinic, I did not become breathless instead. In those days wheelchairs were very rarely found in hospitals.

Syukur alhamdulillah, Azlin too finished her tertiary education in architecture at the MARA University of Technology in Shah Alam. She is now furthering her studies in her Masters also at UITM, doing it part time. She is now attached to The One Academy, in Sunway City as a lecturer.Thus ends the narration of my bringing up and educating of my three children.

All these success stories I fully attribute them to the Greatness and Wonders of the "Doa Jimak" which I learnt from my late uncle before I embarked into the marriage luxury ship. In those days there were no marriage procedure courses as instituted today. Despite this handicap, marriage of those days were long lasting as compared to today's marriages which more often than not ended up in the rocks and boulders after just a couple of years. Or for that matter after a couple of months.

Newlyweds must at all times recite the Doa before approaching your loving wives. In deed the meaning of the Doa is very far-reaching and it promises you the Almighty God's blessing with wonderful off-springs. Try it! ( Catatan aab, 0017- 06102012 megenang Pemergian Abadi MZMY.)