1961: Co-curricular Activity, involving AAB (2nd from right back row). His secret admirer remains a mystery to this day!
Little that
I thought that at 69, the
circular and reversible age I would be given a thunderous shake up that I
had a silent admirer during my formative
years of being a man! Oh Allah, You are the greatest, the most merciful, the
most benevolent, the most gracious and the most lovable, that you gave me such
a gift at my old age, a gift of knowing that I had a silent admirer in the
form of a beautiful charming and lovely
lady, may Allah always bless her and family. Masya Allah, Allah Hu Akbar.
Nothing is impossible for Him!!!
I thank Thee Allah for keeping this wonderful
tidings and keeping it a secret for me until my old age. If only you revealed
it to me then I would have imagined that my life would definitely be different
from those that I had gone through those developing years of my life until my present day
situation. I would have imagined that I would have a wonderful and blissful
married life with my silent admirer. I
would have lots of children, sons and daughters-in-law, and numerous grand children
to carry on the AAB tradition. Oh! Such a wishful thinking!!! My house would be
ever so lively with my children and In laws as well as my many beautiful and
lovable grand children whenever we have a family gathering. There would be
endless laughter and cries, as well as squabbles and disappointments as there
would be quarrels and misunderstandings amongst the grand children. Oh, what a
beautiful imagined life would it be.
Or would it be just the other way around.
Would there be such a blessed life. Or would there be a life of hell on earth.
For why not. Life would not be just a bed of sweet roses minus the thorns. Life
could be as nasty as nasty could be. There would be a life of endless fears and
expectations from both sides of the couple. Would the male be loving enough as
to shower the partner with kisses and loving praises. Or would there be a
torturous incidents every now and then that the partner would be sorry for
first setting an eye on the face of the person she secretly admired. The answer
is, your answer will be as good as mine. Who can tell, but Allah.
Form 2 1959 TBS: Pretty ladies in the front row: Could anyone of these ladies be AAB's mysterious secret admirers!
On the other hand, life would be totally
different from that imagined above. Life would be very miserable. AAB would not
be able to live up to his silent admirer's whims and fancies. Neither would AAB
be able to fulfil his task as a good partner responsible and capable enough to
perform his duties well. Would it be that AAB's silent admirer would demand too
much and beyond his capabilities, that he was just a man of no stature as portrayed in his school
celebrity picture that he craftily painted, that captured the imagination of
certain ladies. Anything could be the outcome. Anything at all.
Or for that matter it would be just as the
secret admirer wanted her life to be when betrothed to AAB. Well if that was the
case that would be, secret admirer would definitely have Allah to thank for,
for giving her such a life that she had been dreaming of. She would be really
made the Queen of his castle. She would be always put on a high pedestal, that
AAB would be forever adoring her and forever more be thankful to Allah for
giving him such majesty of a queen. A queen of his dreams. She would all the
time respect him as a spouse, a partner, a companion, a lover, a comforter, a councillor,
a jester, a protector, and last but not least a father, and a responsible one
too,to her his children. Would there be
such a thing. Well definitely, there would, for nothing is impossible with
Allah's guidance and help.
Either would it be just a plain and ordinary
life. A life smooth sailing with minor or semi big waves, mild and sometimes
strong winds not tantamount to a storm. If that was the case it was very good
for the secret admirer and for the admired. Good for them.
What if there was a turbulent one. Every day
secret admirer will be tortured physically and mentally. Physically, she would
be ignored, abandoned, left alone without any communications be it verbally or body languages or
understood signs and symbolisation which are so common among married and
loving partners. Or mentally, she would be disgraced, humiliated, jested,
scolded, frowned upon, undermined, ignored and ridiculed and left to sleep
alone at night. With no one to bolster. No one to kiss. No shoulder to put her
head on and to whisper the divine phrase, i love you darling! Softly, ever so
softly, and receiving an acknowledgement with a soft nod and soft I love you
too sweetheart wringing in the cool night air of their bedroom. And the secret
admirer would whisper please forgive all my sins darling. Likewise the admired
too would ask for forgiveness before they fell into a very satisfied and sound
sleep for the beautiful night.
Or would the secret admirer be able to
accept his many weakness which to name a
few are his swell headedness, his temperaments, his stubbornness. His main
weakness is small things affect him enormously. He is very sensitive to trivial
things and comments. Such as, he was so elated during his wonderful school and
teaching carrier, when he received an appreciation from one of his former
pupils, may be the one and only that he received during his entire carrier,
that he cherished it to this very moment. It was just a word of thanks from a
student who had succeeded in life, whom he thought while the student was in
form three. Such was a minute incident that he encountered almost fifty years
ago. Was not that great.
What is the worst scenario that would be if
his burst of temper and anger, that sparked out of a very negligible comment by
the secret admirer, were to take place. Would she be able to take it. Once in a
while one would be able to stomach it. What if it recurs incessantly and out of
no reasonable cause at all. Would not
secret admirer be sorry and cursed the day she set an eye on this so
termed school celebrity which was so aloof and self centred and snobbish too.
Would she be sorry! Or would she endure all his shortcomings and accepted them as part of Allah's takdir
on her!? And she kept on her divine prayers to Allah to grant her a blessed and
blissful life at the end of the dark, gloomy, soggy, and narrow tunnel! For she believed that every cloud has its
silver lining.
Oh secret admirer if you chose the latter,you
are nothing but a heavenly angel of a woman. And without an iota of a wicked
doubt you will be placed in Allah's heavens. And you will live there eternally
happily ever after. You would be very lucky, secret admirer. If you chose the former. i would not dare to
imagine what sort of life you might undergo.
Was I lucky to be revealed with a secret
admirer at old age or was I unlucky that I was not informed of this secret
admirer while I was at my tender age.
The answer I think is it is both lucky
and unlucky.
Lucky because I could compose the above
discourse. If I knew it then the above imagination would not have been
composed. The post might be a
recollection and flashback of what had happened. It would be a mere
replay of things past. It would be a true story of what had taken place in the
lives of the secret admirer and the admired. It would possibly be more
interesting, or it would be as boring as the sound of the unfortunate owl
hooting through out the night. The incidents would surely be different from
those portrayed above.
Unlucky because, I would not be able to
compose the incidents that I composed above. Reason being I did not achieve the
present life that I am living now. I would not have been a teacher as i flung
my form five examinations. The SC and the FMC results, or either, were the
trump cards for a decent employment,
those days. A person without an SC or an FMC qualification could never be a
clerk or a teacher in those days. A person with only an LCE, would only be
employed as an office boy, or an ordinary nurse at a hospital. Such was the
importance of a sound education then.
I said I would not attain the present level of
life because, I failed my form five examinations. I forgo my education, as I
was deeply involved in busying myself with my secret admirer day and night
spending and wasting every moment of my precious time together with her. Those
were the sweetest moments of our lives together.
Instead of busying myself with revising my
lessons, my time was spent with my secret admirer. As such when the form five
examinations started, my mind was filled with sweet moments of love with secret
admirer. When the form five results were announced, my result was full of
nines. This possibility was not far fetched. This possibility could very well happen to me. For I had the Form Two
experience, when I did badly in my exams, just because I was day dreaming of a
very cute and charming girl that captivated my imagination that I abandoned my
studies. I was not focused.
That was self gratification. Imagine if there
was secret admirer to play with and to talk sweetly to as if in real life.
Concentration on my studies would surely be zero. And that would be the very
end of my education and for that matter my life too.
One may argue that, you can pick up later in
you studies. The were many who had done so. That might be true. Nevertheless
damage had been done. And one episode of bleakness had adorn your otherwise
beautiful life. Your second attempt would surely be very precarious.
Such were the dilemmas that I had to face both
for knowing early that I had a secret admirer, and for knowing late of my
secret admirer, at old age. Nevertheless, either has its pros and cons. Well secret admirer such is life, and it must
go on whether for the better or for the worse. You are the player and it
depends how you play it.
........ aab, 094030012013
almosttheendof1stmo.
